Philz’s

Philz

When I moved to San Francisco, I decided to stop wearing a watch. I had worn a watch for 40 years but why did I need a watch? People in San Francisco don’t wear watches. I carried an iPhone wherever I went. I didn’t need a watch to tell the time. I would just look at my iPhone.

Yesterday Emmy wanted to get up at 6:30 so she had time for a shower before school. I usually set the alarm in my iPhone. But my power was low and I had to charge the iPhone. Fortunately I had downloaded an alarm app on my iPad that could do the same thing.  I was so iConnected. I set the alarm in my iPad and put it next to my iBed. iSlept.

I awoke with the clock flashing 6:00 AM. It was dark outside and the deep rumble of the foghorn made my bones vibrate. I went to the kitchen. I made a pot of strong coffee – I was drinking something menacingly deep from Philz’s called “Ether” – and drank a cup. I read the morning news on my iPad.

At 6:30 I went up and tried to wake Emmy but she begged for another 15 minutes. I went back to the kitchen. I had another cup of Ether. At 6:45 I started back upstairs. Odd that it was so dark. The foghorn was still moaning so we must be really socked in today. I got to Emmy’s room and sat on the edge of her bed. She hadn’t moved – Wow, she was really sleeping hard. I hated to wake her. I put my hand on her shoulder and gave her a shake. But then I noticed her clock – it said 3:45.

I went back to the other room and grabbed my iPad. It said 6:45. I went upstairs and found my iPhone, now fully charged. It agreed with Emmy’s clock. I realized what had happened. I hadn’t moved the time forward on the iPad; it was still East Coast time. Here it was 3:45 in the morning and now I had drunk 2 cups of Ether.

Sure got a jump on the day.