Counting Cards


Counting Cards

Where did that jack come from?

Weren’t you counting?

I was.

But you missed the jack.

Wow. I thought all the clubs were gone and I had clear sailing when boom comes the jack and I am down two.

You have to count the cards

I did.

Just not the jack.

Somehow I must have missed it.

You could have just led the queen and then you’d have had all the trump and you would have made the contract.

I know. I know.

You have to count the cards.

You said that already.

If you don’t bother to count the cards, you’ll keep getting surprises.

Okay. I have got it. I will count the cards.

Cause its really important in Bridge…

Got it.

…even more than Hearts…

I have got it.

…and its pretty important in Hearts.

Will you shut up? I got the message.

Just saying.

Its not like you didn’t make any mistakes.

What mistakes did I make?

Why was it even at 4 clubs anyway? We could have played at 2 clubs and we would have made it easy but no you had to bid four. What was that about? Who bids four clubs anyway?

I was inviting you to game.

Oh right. You only had 10 points and 4 clubs.

I had five clubs.


You are wrong. Again. I had five.


Why are you being this way? I had five. I had the queen and the 10 and three little ones.

If you had had five then the jack would have come out when I lead trump.

Except you miscounted.

If you’d really had five, it wouldn’t have mattered. You only had four and you never should have bid up to four. You always do that. Hang me out there.

Hang you out there? You think I bid four to hang you out there?

You just like the drama.

You are delusional.

It is just like everything else.

One. You would have made it if you hadn’t miscounted so the bid was a good bid. Two, you could have made five if you hadn’t miscounted and you tried the heart finesse. So don’t tell me that I was overbidding. You were just underplaying.

There was no reason we had to be at four.

You mean I should bid assuming that you will screw up playing the cards?

You jackass. I play the cards beautifully. Everyone says that. You just like to test the edge of the envelope. Especially when you have had a few glasses of wine…

Oh God. Here it comes.

And you want to impress with how daring you are and so you launch these bids like you are setting off rockets and you leave me hanging out there…

Like setting off rockets? You are really losing it, babe. Maybe you shouldn’t be playing cards.

Maybe you shouldn’t be drinking wine.

Cause you can’t count cards, I shouldn’t drink a glass of wine?

A glass? Ha!

I had a couple of glasses and I was fine. I just didn’t remember how badly you play when I was bidding.

Wow. You’ll say anything to excuse yourself.

You are the one that is blaming my bidding for your bad playing.

You are blaming my playing for your bad bidding.

I am not the one that tries to play bridge without counting cards.

I count cards.

Just not correctly. I don’t get why you don’t just pay attention if you want to play the game. It isn’t very hard. I counted them even though I wasn’t playing the hand.

Yes I am sure you did. You are very good at announcing that you can do things better. I doubt you’d have made 2 clubs.

Right. If it makes you feel better you can think that.

I do.

How about a new strategy? I figure out what the contract should be and then subtract two tricks so you’ll be able to make it without counting cards.

Very funny.

Though it will be hard when we should be at the 1 or 2 level. I can’t bid a negative number.

With your negativity? Hard to believe.

I am not negative.

Are you kidding? Did you actually say that?

I am not negative.

Wow. I can’t believe you said that. What do you think you are?



Yes. You can count on me…

Ha Ha.

Not bad.

Actually pretty weak.

Aww. You just don’t want to admit I had a point.

Just deal the cards.

Fine. … You know the thing about Bridge….

I know. You have to count the cards.

I wasn’t going to say that.


Ok. I was going to say that.

I knew that.

Thats a good thing. A very good thing.

Why is that?

Cause once you know what I am thinking…


You’ll be able to figure out my bids.

– Jay Duret