My Call From U.S. Air

My Call From U.S. Air

I read that businesses are reaching out to customers who have given them bad reviews on Yelp.  I have only written one really bad Yelp review: U.S. Air. I can’t wait until they call to make nice with me…

“Jay? Jay Duret?”

“This is he.”

“Hello, Mr. Duret. This Wanda Surplus-Hideaway calling from US Air.”

“Uh-Oh. Are you cancelling my flight? Revoking my frequent flier miles?”

“Oh no, nothing like that. Your friends at U.S. Air…”

“Wait a second, are you a lawyer?’

“Oh no. I am from Customer Service. We noticed your review on Yelp and wanted to hear your perspective. An excellent flying experience on every trip is our goal. We know you have other flying options and we appreciate it when you choose U.S. Air…”

“What is it you want? Are you trying to get my Yelp review taken down? Every word is true.”

“We are so disappointed you had a less than satisfactory flying experience….”

‘Experiences.”

“Excuse me?”

“Experiences. I had many. I wrote about five but I could have written about ten or twenty.”

“Yes. I see that we haven’t been able to always meet your high expectations.”

“You probably don’t like my post on U.S.AirSucks.com either.”

“I was not aware of that one.”

“Or USAirSucks.org.”

“Nor that one. But no matter.  At U.S.Air we are devoted to creating a memorable experience every time you trust your flight to us.”

“They have been memorable.”

“Mr. Duret, I see you are a member of our Dividend Miles program. Would we be able to address your concerns by adding some mileage points to your account?”

“How many?”

“How about 10,000?”

“I could get more than that signing up for a U.S. Air credit card and just throwing it away.”

“Hmm, perhaps 20,000?”

“Come on.”

“I might be able to get permission to give you 25,000.”

“No way.”

“How many would you think fair?”

“One million. And I want to be able to use them on Virgin Air.”

Click.

Damn. Overplayed my hand. I hate it when I do that…

– Jay Duret

jayduret@yahoo.com

For my review of U.S.Air, click here